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    Reviews of ...           he used to be Somebody

A JOURNEY INTO ALZHEIMER'S THROUGH THE EYES OF A CAREGIVER
                               

by Beverly Bigtree Murphy       

"Every life is a novel that needs to be written. This one has more love, passion, and pain than most and, therefore, is an excellent teacher about life, love, and living." --- Dr. Bernie Siegel, author of Love, Medicine and Miracles.

"Beverly needed to write this story, not only because it helped her to dig deep into herself and tell her story, but also for the rest of us. We learn, are stretched and summoned to growth as we read this story of a woman who, in choosing to relate to a daunting challenge, has unlocked the doors to the greatness of the human spirit." --- Dr. Arthur Caliandro, Minister, Marble Collegiate Church, New York City, author of Make Your Life Count.

"Beverly has turned her personal tragedy into an eloquent and passionate story of how she and her husband, Tom, are facing the experience of living with Alzheimer's. This personal account is a significant and valuable aid in understanding the human toll exacted by caring for a loved one with a progressive, degenerative disease. I believe He Used To Be Somebody will be an immense help to American families and to health care professionals. You will find it moving, often humorous and full of insight. It reads like a novel, but is a remarkably accurate case study." --- Anita Sanborn, Executive Director, Rocky Mountain Chapter Alzheimer's Association.

"Beverly Murphy's compelling account provides invaluable comfort and encouragement to caregivers. She inspires us all to appreciate the love of our families and the blessings of life." --- Mark O. Hatfield, United States Senator.

"A unique perspective -- a healthcare professional becomes a family caregiver. This personal account also speaks directly to couples facing Alzheimer's in second marriages." --- Lisa Gwyther, M.S.W. Director, Duke Family Support Program, Center for Aging, Duke University Medical Center.

"I appreciate your thoughtfulness and commend you for sharing your personal experiences for the benefit of other caregivers and their loved ones." Rosalynn Carter

"You have made an important contribution in helping those of us who care for patients with Alzheimer’s Disease and their families." Dennis W. Jahnigen, M.D. Director, Center on Aging, Head, Division of Geriatric Medicine, University Of Colorado Health Sciences Center.

"It is as close to a first person account of the experience of Alzheimer’s Disease as you will ever read. Marilyn Newsom, MD, PhD, Neurology, Boulder Medical Center

"Your book really speaks to the universal truth about any difficult caregiving situation. It talks about commitment, unconditional love, and the inherent dignity of every individual, something our Hospice families know firsthand." Carol Schwenk, Editor, Hospice of Boulder County Magazine,

"It reads like a novel and reaches heights and depths that writers of fiction would envy. It is, above all, a love story of almost luminescent quality.  Make no mistake - this is an uplifting book. For anyone who is losing a loved one to AD it should be considered required reading. Dick Marden, Exec. Dir., Alzheimer’s Association, Fort Smith, AR

"I laughed and I cried., you seem to have accepted your role as primary caregiver without bitterness, and although often physically exhausted, always with devotion and a sense of humor." Judith Antonangeli, Caregiver, RN, BSN, Eastern Massachusetts Chapter, ADRDA  *

"Beverly’s wit, realistic attitude, and common sense come through as she speaks candidly with loving respect about her husband, Tom, and her caregiving responsibilities." Linda Bogner-Norton, Caregiver, Advocate, Director, Tampa Bay Chapter, ADRDA.

 

 

Caregiver Comments

  • "I’ve read it twice and some parts over and over. You have revealed yourself so exquisitely and simply that others can follow and gain. There is hardly a family that can’t benefit by your very generous sharing of your life together with Tom."  Carol B., therapist, caregiver, Phoenix, AZ

  • "Your book is a wonderful resource for caregivers and professionals. Recently, I took care of my father in my home while my mother recovered from surgery. I never really knew whether he knew me, let alone whether he remembered my mother. However, one night after making up his bed for the 6th time, I spoke harshly to him. He stood there looking at me with a wild glare in his eyes, stomped his foot and sputtered, ‘I don’t want you as my Mommy anymore, I liked my other Mommy better.’ Obviously, at some level he remembered her. My mother has now recovered and is back caring for my father. Bless her. She said, ‘There was no purpose to my life without him, despite all.’ They had been together 64 years."   Carole L., OTR/L, Asheville NC

  • "Your book is the first I’ve sat down and finished in a long time. I first became aware of Alzheimer’s in 1975 when my grandmother was diagnosed. This was also the beginning of my awareness of what a great love my grandparents shared. I saw my grandfather change from a domineering farmer who had never done ‘women’s’ work to a loving, caring, patient man who desperately wanted her to get well. Every adult couple on my Christmas list is getting a copy of your book."  Linda T., caregiver, Boulder CO

  • "I rarely finish a book, but I could not put this one down. Thank you! Thank you for sharing Tom with me. Thank you for sharing your most intimate thoughts with me. Thank you for sharing your experience and insight with me. Reading your story has changed my life."  Margaret B., Scotia, NY

  • "I told my husband: ‘This is it.' You expressed exactly, my deepest feelings about my experience with my 85 year old mother-in-law who suffered multiple strokes and global aphasia. The remarkable thing was that at her ‘worst’, physically and mentally after multiple strokes and with global aphasia, the last year was remarkable because I experienced her essence through it all. I couldn’t resist turning down pages so I could get back to exquisitely written passages which expressed your experience, emotions and Tom’s and your essence."   Antonia J., Caregiver Boulder, CO.

 

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