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The In-Charge Stage of Care © Stages 7a-7f on the Reisberg (Fast) Duration: 1-3 years on the Gwyther Scale |
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... In terms of the last stages of care the role of parent and caregiver are not that unlike, except that the process is in reverse for the caregiver. Childhood Development: Infancy, birth – 15 months: (Reisberg, Figure III) The parent’s role is to nurture, bond, and take care of every aspect of the baby’s care. The child is totally helpless and unable to provide any assistance in any part of its care. The parent is totally in charge of all the decisions that affect that baby’s life. The parent doesn’t question that role and no one will question the validity of their role as the ‘one in charge.’ Dementia Deterioration: The last stage of care - Stage 7 on the Reisberg FAST Scale: The duties and attitudes during the end stage of Dementia care are the same as those involved in infant care. The role is to nurture, bond, and take care of every aspect of their physical care. They are totally helpless and unable to provide any assistance. They give clues to needs similar to the ones available to infants. They make noises, some grimaces, and occasionally can move an arm or hand to punctuate their need for attention. They are unable to make even basic needs known and like any new parent, it doesn’t take you long to learn their language. You learn what certain motions and sounds mean. The main point, is that you are totally in charge and responsible for all the decisions that affect your person. You don’t question that role and the validity of that role as the ‘one in charge,’ is without question.
The In-Charge Stage of Care is Characterized by: The Deterioration of Involuntary Brain Function
Involuntary:*
a.[L.L. involuntarius; L.in-priv.,
and voluntarius, willing, from voluntas, will, choice, from
the root of velle, to will.’ Not voluntary; specifically, (a) not
done of one’s own free will.; not done by choice; (b) unintentional;
accidental; (c) not consciously controlled; automatic; as, digestion is involuntary.
The family member can no longer participate in any phase of their care or decision making process. In some ways the choices become easier for the caregiver at this time because the care tasks become more routine during this phase of the disease. And while you may feel the continuing need to explain your choices and why you do what you do, which is a form of respect for your family members as human beings, you no longer feel the need for permission to make the choices, and this can have a freeing affect on your ability to function. The pacing, the verbalizations, the repetitive (ritualistic) behaviors have passed. Your sleep deprivation, the hardest part of this disease to deal with for a caregiver, has also passed because once they are chair-bound and bed-ridden they can't pace and get into trouble and for the most part they tend to sleep more and more as the illness progresses. They stay where they are placed. I tell people that once they are through the middle stage of care things tend to get more sane. Other caregiver who have made it through the mid-stages echo the same thoughts. In fact, this may be the time you want to bring them back home if they've been institutionalized. If you can afford help and you want them to be able to die in their own beds, that is not an impossibility.
While there is no absolute manner in which the losses occur at the onset of this illness, by the time the person has moved into the mid and late stages of the illness, the losses are inevitable. ...see the Reisberg Scale and the Gwyther Scale for reference. The only differences are in the severity, the order in which they occur, and the quickness with which they happen. By the last stage everyone is incapacitated and unable to either express their needs, or care for their needs. The pattern of deterioration is reduced to the basic functions of the body during this period and death is inevitable. All of this happens because the brain is no longer able to connect with the body and make it work properly. The involuntary functions of the body that the brain controls such as heart rate, pulse, the respiratory system and digestion are now affected and in the end, with the brain no longer regulating the vital organs, the body shuts down, and death occurs.
As Debilitated as they are they still respond to love ~*~ They respond to being held. ~*~ They respond to soft, caring voices and accepting body language. ~*~ They sometimes cuddle or stroke a pet or stuffed animal. A friend’s mother began carrying around a baby doll and the doll’s name was ‘Baby.’ ~*~ They respond to soft massage, aromatherapy, combing hair and stroking the body which is relaxing and comforting and good for circulation and skin condition. The reflex of holding on to a caregiver’s finger happens, one of the first things an infant accomplishes. ~*~ They respond to their favorite music, most appropriately the music from their youth. Our earliest response to music is actually of the music our parents played when we were infants. Its familiarity will still linger. Some of the meditative pieces on the market also bring a sense of well being. However, keep in mind that new age music is not a part of their distant memory and there are recordings of old standards that are just as pleasing and restful and certainly more recognizable to your person. Tom enjoyed Sousa Marches among other things. In actuality, the steady rhythm, the predictable cord progressions and emotional attachment had the same effect as old hymns and those considerations are probably more important in the selection of music than anything else for our people. (Rhythmic Medicine, Music with a Purpose, Janalea Hoffman) ~*~ I believe it is therapeutic to bathe them regularly. There are shower chairs and tub transfer benches that aide in this task. Regular bathing has to have the same salutatory effects bathing an infant has. ~*~ They are for all intents and purposes as vulnerable and as needy as a newborn infant and like a newborn they still feel love and acceptance and I don’t doubt that they also feel loneliness and fear and hunger and pain.
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______________________________~*~________________________________ For many caregivers this is the time when they reconnect with their people, if they haven’t already, and often it is on a profound level. It becomes a waiting game at this stage of care. The question isn’t whether they will die, the question is when? There is nothing left to do but love them. I found myself stroking and touching Tom much the same way I held and nurtured by grandchildren when they were born. My conversations with Tom weren’t any different from those I had with my ‘babies,’ and the relevancy of those conversations and commentaries were valid in both situations. There was something therapeutic and enriching in caring for Tom’s person during this time and watching over his soul. And it was the time when I learned to come to terms with his dying and trust that he had also come to terms. Contrary to belief you don’t need to hear "I love you," said back to you to feel the internal warmth that comes from your saying those words to someone else. I got to say all my good-byes long before the event happened and when he died I found myself relying on the same resolve I had as I faced each and every phase of his illness with him. It was much like facing childbirth. Once the process started there was little to do but let it happen and hope it would be as painless as possible. It was. His body relaxed for the first time in years after his last breath and it was then that I realized his spirit never got Alzheimer’s any more than my father’s had gotten Cancer. All in all he had as good a death as one could hope for. And when people ask me if he knew who I was when he died I reply that he knew he was loved. We should all be so lucky.
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